EVERETT'S GAY LONELY THINKING SPACE

I have this obsession with being perceived as someone concrete. As though I'm fixed, unchanging, and have sturdy pillars erected in the foundation of my truths.

However, I have never felt that way. I've always been changing, to the point that it's one of the few consistencies I define about myself.

Because of my ever-changing self, I often close myself off to opportunities, many of which are social. Dating, reaching out to old friends, meeting people IRL and online... I feel like all these activities will lead to a bursting point.

I find comfort in the idea of a facade because the thing that people perceive me as can become relatable, engageable, and enjoyable. And I just want to fit in...

When it comes to my website, I've thought about it frequently over the last many months. I thought about how I can go back and delete the things I said, or start over completely to redefine my facade, instead of adding onto the existing posts and content I initially wanted to build off of...

At no point am I comfortable with the idea of saying, (That guy I loved, I don't love anymore), because that makes me feel like I'm someone who lies about their feelings.

There is so much behind all that that I wouldn't get into because it's obvious.

I think the most important take for ME to make though is that I'm choosing to hide myself to maintain a facade, and yet if I speak genuinely, I feel bad about the facade as if it's who I am. In that sense, I'm perceiving myself within a double standard...

I just want to be myself in the moment, and let my differences be evident.

Pictured above is my 3D Printed furniture! (Just my office space). I measured all the furniture I own, and made digital models that I printed 1 mm for every 1 inch. (This helped me figure out a good room-layout!)

The first day of the month, my car died on the way to the gym do to my exhaust pipe breaking in half... My sister saved me, and the next morning I was able to get the car to my parents' house down the street. After 6 trips to the store and $250 later, I had a working car again! I got my hands dirty by attaching a coupling to a section of pipe I took out. Car works great now!! Hurray!

I had an important meeting at work!! I function as an Innovation Coach at work, and after some emails, I had a video-call with the INNOVATION PROGRAM MANAGER to discuss options for a website dedicated to 3D-printed solutions to problems within my job. I felt very prestigious having that conversation with the woman who oversees the entire country's TSA.

I've been going on hiking weekly! My coworkers have invited me to go hiking with them on Tuesdays, and it has been SO fun! More recently, we went up to a place called Gilmore, and the rocks at the top of the mountain were so... rocky... The ground was nothing but loose little rocks and loose massive rocks. It was very alien... I hope we can go to Craters of the Moon National Park again sometime!

I've re-started my DnD campaign with my cousins :) I am playing two DnD campaigns, and for some reason, they're both on Thursday... Thursday is just my designated DnD day now. I play one campaign, then I wait a couple hours, then I go to my other one! It's kinda fun!! The one I restarted has been going for almost 2 years, which is crazy!

I also finished moving out of my townhouse! I moved in in February with a 6-month lease, and my roommate turned out to be the most evil man alive, so I kicked him out and struggled with rent on my own for a few months. Now, I live with my coworker who just bought his house. He's a great guy! His girlfriend has been fun to hang out with as well, since she works from home and all that jazz... I'm just glad to have left the townhouse, even though I had to get rid of 70% of my belongings. Lol.

My Crohn's Disease has gotten worse :( I was in remission without medication, and with the stress of too much on my plate, My ulcers and pain came back full force :( As of today, I'm waiting for authorization to start an immonosupressant again, which should help out again :)

Hello! I'm secretly writing this later than the 21st, but I wasn't going to tell you that...

So, the Cute Guy listed below decided to plan this big camping trip for my birthday :) It was awesome!! We spent four nights tent-camping together up near Yellowstone. We read books, crocheted, went for walks, made pancakes, visited Yellowstone National Park, and just hung out... :) I think this trip was very visual, so hopefully I'll have a gallery up soon... I got some killer pics from Yellowstone.

While I was on this vacation, The cute guy asked me to be my boyfriend, which was cool! Now we are dating officially, haha. Maybe a month is soon, but... this guy is great :3

(Also peep the Buffalo shot from Yellowstone! Lol)

Hello! I just spent, like, 3 hours figuring out how to make a "Read More" button on html that will expand a textbox... Chat GPT honestly carried me through that learning process. Lmao.

Anyway, story time with Everett here: The other day I was at work at my airport. I work security, and for an hour in my day I din't have much to do, (since there were hardly any flights at the time...). Well, one of my coworkers came up to me with a note and said, "This is from the only attractive guy who works at the restaurant upstairs." I had NO clue who she was talking about, but it MADE MY DAY! I can't remember the last time I was flirted with by another guy. I'm not very queer-presenting, so it meant a lot to me that some guy took the time to find out if I was gay :) Sure enough, I went upstairs, and this guy is TOTALLY my type. he's hot, got pretty blue eyes, and he's got this almost rugged but still very-clean appearance. Talking to him, I find out we share a LOT in common, which was cool, and we've been talking for the last couple days :)

Our first "date" is tonight. Surprise, we're going rock-climbing, haha. I hope my next blog won't be about a complete disaster, but I can only hope, haha.

Aside from that, not much has happened. I've been slowly recovering from my really bad cold. I even had to leave work early afew days ago, but I think I'm in the clear. I'm also moving out and into my coworkers basement to save on money for a while. In doing so, I've taken so much furniture out to the curb, and thakfully it's been getting picked up super quick, (even though I live on a side street). That said, this lovely orange chair that I picked up on the side of the street last year has been sitting in front of my house for 3 day. EVERYTHING has been taken except this chair that I LOVED when I found it. I just don't get it! c'est la vie...

I almost forgot to mention I went to the Pride festival on Saturday! I was sick, but I committed to going to the parade and just taking the walk to show my support :) Last year, I was a volunteer at the booth with the Drag Queens, and I loved it! I got to help make crowns out of pipe-cleaners. Lol. But this year, I barely stayed after the parade. I did bump into my Co-Editor-in-Chief of my high-school newspaper though. It was good to catch up! Good day!

Last story: I biked home from the Pride Festival, and I ended up riding next to this other bicycalist named Michael who asked me: "If you had the opportunity, would you go biking from coast to coast?" And I said heck yeah! Turned out, he did it. He spent 14 months going from one coast to the other, and now he's aiming to set the record for fastest bike across America. I'm rooting for him! It sounded like he had a hard life from what he told me of his story, but it was wonderful seeing someone so passionate about what they're doing...

And that's all. Thanks for stopping by!

Hello! This is my first post! If you want to know more about me, hopefully I have my "about me" page setup already. But as a brief introduction, my name is Everett, and I live in the middle of nowhere (it feels like). I'm passionate about a lot of things; I like trying new things, and this website felt like a good place to share them. I'm also gay, amongst many other things... so that's where the name of this site came from.

Today is Friday, the 21st of June. Yesterday was the first day of Summer, and it's been hot and sunny out. I was supposed to be at work today, at my local airport, but unfortunately I've lost my voice due to a sore throat, so I'm staying home today. I think it's a cold, but I really don't know. regardless, this has given me the opportunity to develop this website, which I'm very happy about :) I've got a lot more links and pages to construct for different blogs and such, but until then, this bare-boned website is feeling pretty good. Thanks for stopping by!